In life, you have to deal with people whose personalities clash with your own. In many instances, you can find a way to move on and ignore these differences. But sometimes, you meet people who are the definition of difficult.They are argumentative, hard to work with, and can even be rude and callous. Sometimes, difficult personalities can cause stress and tension in the workplace, which can negatively impact your productivity and enjoyment at your job. But there are ways to deal with difficult personalities.
IGNORE THEM
If a person has a difficult personality that bothers you, the first thing you can try is ignoring them. Do not let this impede your work, of course…if they directly speak to you about work or other matters, respond in kind. Do so politely and concisely. If you do not feel comfortable having a long conversation, then keep your answers short and to the point. Sometimes, a person with a difficult personality will not pick up on social cues, so this is where ignoring comes in handy. Just assume that this person does not know that they are being difficult or obnoxious and move on. You won’t be as stressed or as frustrated, which allows you to live a healthier, more productive life.
TRY TO BE UNDERSTANDING
Not every difficult person is intending to cause trouble. Some people with difficult personalities do not realize that what they are doing is toxic or harmful to the environment. Understanding that will help you cope with a difficult personality. Tell yourself that they are having a bad time (a bad time could be a day, week, or even a month), offer support when you can (and especially if you think their difficult personality is caused by observable stressors), and try to see both sides of a situation before making a judgment call.
TALK TO THEM
Talking to someone with a difficult personality can be stressful, but the sooner you attempt to clear the air, the better it will be. Sometimes, acknowledging differing personalities and finding common ground is the best thing you can do. Try not to do this in the middle of the workday, though, as that can lead to you becoming less productive. If you can, broach these subjects at a time when neither of you are busy. There will be cases when a person with a difficult personality wants nothing to do with finding the root of a problem, so you must be prepared for them not to give you the time of day. And in that case…
DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
It’s easier said than done, especially if a person with a difficult personality seems to be picking on you. But unless something has directly impacted you and this person has made it obvious that they have a bone to pick with you, try not to take things personally. It is normal to feel tension with someone whose personality clashes with yours, but try not to take it to heart. Feeling offended, insulted, and upset are all valid feelings, but unless you have proof that they are out to get you, there’s not much else you can do but accept what happened and move on. However, there are always going to be exceptions and there are cases when taking things personally is entirely justified…
IF THINGS GET WORSE, REPORT THEM
Some people with difficult personalities do not understand that what they are doing is harmful. However, this does not excuse rudeness, bullying, and harassment. Tell your supervisor what is going on when you feel singled out, unsafe, or mistreated. A person with a difficult personality can cause turmoil in the workplace and confronting the situation with a neutral party (like your supervisor) can help smooth things out and create a more functional environment for everyone.
WHO CAN HELP ME?
If you are having trouble with someone, please consider reaching out to one or more of the following resources.
- Kristie Juda is the Campus Enterprises Human Resources manager, who can help out if you have a conflict or other concerns. Click here to access her contact information.
- The Office for Institutional Equity and Diversity allows you to file a report if you have concerns with discrimination or harassment in the workplace. Click here to learn more about filing a report.
- The Faculty and Staff Assistance Program allows you to seek one-on-one help such as counseling, financial information, legal aid, and other support services. Click here to learn more.
- The Faculty and Staff Ombuds Office allows you the opportunity to connect to resources that will help empower you and other employees. Click here to learn more.
AT THE END OF THE DAY…
Dealing with difficult personalities is easier said than done. It is completely normal to be irritated by someone with whom you do not get along. But it’s best to relax and remain calm…constantly carrying tension, anger, and stress is unhealthy and can be damaging to your mental health.
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